Wednesday, June 1, 2016

rest of april

Dakota had been doing so well- walking and smiling again and that last night we were getting the girls ready for bed he even grabbed his ice cream toy to play. A few hours later in the middle of the night he woke up crying out and couldn't even really stand so we took him to tufts and had to put him to sleep. I held him in my arms and told him I loved him and kissed him and josh pet his head. It hurts really bad, even now in July as I type this trying to catch up in this space so I'm going to end it here. Losing Dakota was one of the hardest things and there's not a day that goes by where I don't think of him numerous times a day, wishing he was here playing and going places with us. I do have so many regrets- not spending the extra time with him, not always taking him for rides or to places, and although I have these regrets I also need to forgive myself as this has taught me so much about truly cherishing each day as much as possible. And I'm still working on this and I'm not perfect at it at all but I'm getting so much better at it and I have learned to not be so hard on myself and forgive myself and learn from it all and move on and grow to be a better person, because really that's all we can do as there's no sense in dwelling or living in the past or wishing we had done this or that- that gets us nowhere except being stuck. I miss him like crazy though.

This spring, Kennadie started riding her bike without training wheels. We took her to the track and off she went! We enjoyed a day at Roger Williams zoo with friends, a date night to the escape games and dinner with friends, and we adopted a lab mix, who we named Tucker. He is so great and I believe with all my heart that having him here helped tremndously in our healing process. I have never not had a dog and after Dakota passed my energy was focused on dwelling on him not being here and how weird it felt. Tucker has helped so much with that and our energy was refocused on him and became much more positive.

A few photos from spring time and Tucker's first day home-

 photo B049EBEF-1367-4CFF-82AE-8B269936F53D_zpst4ojlxp0.jpg  photo 6AE3640D-EEDD-4241-A583-CFBE532C4C78_zpsawr1kupe.jpg  photo 6074A1C1-D74D-4E0F-84DD-8374ECBE2D1A_zps4elq3c5h.jpg  photo C3FCDEED-9A81-4F17-A3EA-05B0D1CD33BB_zps0kxx7ur3.jpg  photo 8C605D55-C8B7-49F5-B53E-D8930EAEB32C_zps88xer7rv.jpg  photo 5730DBE1-E4D7-455A-96F5-A28916948EFB_zpsd1npsukf.jpg

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