In the beginning of this process we thought that we were looking to keep Kennadie as the oldest child (just as it would be if we were to have had any more children biologically) but after a lot of conversations and the amount of growing we have done so far and everything that we are learning, we have decided that older children may be a better match with our family and lifestyle. I also took a real hard look at if I really wanted to do the whole baby/newborn thing again and honestly, I don't. The feedings at night and lugging around a stroller and diaper bag etc. just really doesn't fit in with where we are right now as a family and in our life. I also have been thinking about work and a career and starting all over again just doesn't feel right for us at this point. It's so strange how just a year ago I had baby fever and now my thoughts and feelings on having more babies (biologically or through adoption) have completely changed. Throughout this entire process we have always said that we will go towards what feels right and where we are headed feels so right and meant to be. We truly believe everything happens for a reason and we are right where we are supposed to be.
We have attended a monthly adoption support group twice so far and we are so happy that we found this and definitely plan on attending every month as we feel it is crucial to have support and be surrounded by people who "get it" and have been there. The people we have met have been so great and so supportive. This group really grounds me and just when I am having all of the emotions of and thinking of life and family as "perfect" and all smiles and laughter and fun I am brought back to reality when we go to the meetings. The reality is that this will be hard at times and a lot of work (parenting in general is hard and a lot of work!) but it's always so worth it. It brings a good balance to our life and to the way that I think.
Our final walk through has been completed, our homestudy is written up, and now we just wait to be matched! It's hard to believe that we are finally at this point! We have been told about a few sibling groups so far and we are looking into these right now. We know that we have to keep our emotions out of it, not rush anything, and be completely aware of where we are and how it all feels throughout this. It is definitely beginning to feel more real at this point and we couldn't be more excited!