Although not completely there yet, it's beginning to feel a bit more real. Our first home study is complete and it went great. We talked about what we think we could handle, what we don't think we could handle, and the words "expect the unexpected" came out of her mouth more than once.
I have my fears and concerns and I am pretty open about them, but I often wonder how many of us would have some of the same concerns if we had to go through intense parenting classes and hear all about the worst-case scenarios and all of the "what ifs" and fill out pages and pages of paperwork before having biological children. I often wonder how we would feel about becoming pregnant if we had to sit through a ten week class on Postpartum Mood Disorders and hear all of the frightening things that could happen. I often wonder if it would have scared me, even just a little, if I had to sit through a ten week class on everything that could happen when having children, biologically or not. From mental illness to cancer to pregnancy complications, it can get hard and scary.
Before becoming a mom I never thought about the challenges we as parents may face-the struggles we may go through, the sadness and fear we may have to deal with, the obstacles we may have to overcome. This adoption journey isn't much different. There will be struggles, tears, fear, obstacles, setbacks, challenges. But there will be also be good, love, fun, vacations, outings, dance recitals, soccer games, smiles, milestones, birthdays, trips to the library, walks around the neighborhood, swimming, dinner around the table, laughter, watching movies snuggled on the couch as a family.
The good, the bad, it's so worth it.