Wednesday, November 27, 2013

slow down

Life has been flying by lately, or at least it seems that way. Too much to do and not enough time and I can't even believe we are nearing the end of November. Sometimes life can seem like a never ending battle of playing catch-up and never getting ahead. Like when you don't understand how a family of three can go through so much laundry and just when you think you have put it all away you realize that there is one last load in the washer that has been sitting there too long and now smells and needs to be rewashed. Or, when the email and the to-do-list seem like too big of a task to deal with and you would much rather be playing hide and seek with your kid. Or, on Monday, when the garbage can is still at the top of your driveway even though trash was picked up on Friday. Or, being hit with an unexpected vet bill again. Or, the times when you and your husband have silly arguments or when your your child throws a fit and screams and cries because you told her no dessert unless she eats her supper.

Those less than perfect parts of life are just smaller pieces of a bigger picture and, while those moments can seem overwhelming, at the end of the day I try to reflect upon what matters most. The laundry always gets put away. Email will be opened soon enough and, lets face it, our to-do-list as parents will never be completely crossed off no matter how hard we try. The garbage can will be put back eventually. We have our cat here and he is happy. Josh and I solve our arguments and move on fast-I think that's one of our biggest strengths as a couple. Kennadie's fits only last a few minutes until she is happy again.

My goal for the next two months and going into 2014 is to slow down. Really slow down and keep working on letting go of what isn't absolutely necessary in my life right now. As much as I want to take on project after project and I wish I could somehow do it all, I can't. Choices have to be made. Saying no because it is the right thing to do to stay emotionally healthy even though I really want to say yes. Unnecessary email subscriptions have been cancelled. Each room and closet in our house has been purged-leaving a clean, organized, and refreshed feeling in the house. A new start.

I want to keep my focus on the moments that really matter and do things that make me happy and leave me feeling inspired, creative, and fulfilled.

Focusing on moments like this.

When her entire face lit up the moment she saw Doc McStuffins on stage at the Disney Live Tour I almost cried. I could see the magic through her eyes. I have a hard time finding a good balance between not "lying" to her and letting her experience the excitement childhood brings.

Is Cinderella real or is she just a person dressed up? 
How do reindeer fly? 
Is that the real Santa?
How does the tooth fairy get through my window? 

I don't always know what to say to these questions. When Doc McStuffins came out she gasped, and without taking her eyes off the stage she said to me, "Mommy, that is the real Doc McStuffins because that is her real hair!" And any thoughts I had about not wanting to "lie" to her went right out the window just like that. My eyes filled with tears as I flashed her a huge smile and did what many moms would do-I went with it. "Yes, yes, that is the real Doc McStuffins. Can you believe it? I didn't know the real Doc was going to be here!" And whether or not it was the right decision I know one day when Kennadie is a mom and she sees the excitement in her child's eyes she will understand exactly why I let her believe. Why we let our kids experience that magic. It was a moment and a night I will remember for a long time.

-Simple moments like how excited we were when we were on our way to Disney Live and we heard Christmas songs on the radio in the car for the first time this season. And, the other morning at the Dunkin Donuts drive-through the person in front of me paid for my order. I looked in my rear view mirror, saw a car behind me and I paid for their order. Pay it forward.

-Moments at the playground where it is just the two of us-sliding down the slides, pushing her on the swings, and running around the open field. I cherish these times together.

One of my favorite things about blogging is that it allows me to almost relive moments through reading past posts and looking through photos. I love sitting down at the end of the day looking at photos from the week- feeling creative and inspired and happy, remembering small details that would have been lost if I hadn't captured them in words or photos, and getting in touch with my feelings and ideas and writing them out. It allows me to remember the good and reminds me why slowing down is the best thing that we can do.

Hope you all have a wonderful Thanksgiving! 

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