It still doesn't feel real yet. When you are pregnant you get to see that positive test, hear a heartbeat, see your baby on an ultrasound, feel the baby kick, watch your belly grow, you are given a due date. I don't have any of that. We don't know if we need to buy a crib or a bed. We don't know if we need pink or blue. We don't know what size clothes we will need to have here. We don't know if we will need diapers. We don't know what car seat we will need. We don't know if we will be asked about one or two children. We don't even know what month this could possibly all happen. We don't know when a child comes here if he/she will stay for a few weeks, a few months, or forever.
I like to have some sort of control and I like to plan, but with this journey I have had to give up any control that I thought I had and I have to give up planning and instead I have to just let it all come together without me interfering at all. It's scary yet exciting and all we can do is keep moving forward and see where it takes us.
|last night of MAPP training|
We made Halloween cat cupcakes for Kennadie's school party and she chose to be Ariel this year for trick-or-treating. She had a wig and Ariel shoes to go along with her dress but refused to wear them. I think she cared more about candy this year and less about dressing up. She told me next year she wants to be "Mary Had a Little Lamb" and she doesn't forget things and will keep talking about this for the next eleven months and I can almost guarantee that she will be Mary next Halloween.
We took her around our neighborhood and I was impressed at how our neighbors went all out this year.
We drove by this house every day for the entire month of October and we were excited to stop here for trick-or-treating. The tight grip she had on my hand gave away how scared she was once we walked down their driveway, but it was so fun. Her first haunted house.
Josh surprised us with a trip to Boston, a few days off, and Celtics tickets so we could take Kennadie to her first Celtics game.
|reading his spooky surprise book that he made for us|