Monday, May 21, 2012

understood

*Warning: This post contains some material that may be triggering to some people. Please do not read if that is the case for you. 

Being in a room filled with other moms who have experienced a Postpartum Mood Disorder is therapeutic for me. Somehow opening up to these women who I have just met about the details of my fight through Postpartum OCD & the scary thoughts that came with it, is easier than talking about it to people who are closest to me. I have found an understanding & a connection with others who have been there too.

Back in February, Katherine Stone came to speak not too far from where I live. She was the first woman who I found that had Postpartum OCD & that experienced many of the same horrible thoughts that I had. Finding her website was life changing. Not knowing if I would have the chance to meet her again, it was a no brainer to go see her speak.

I expected the conference to take place in a large room filled with tons of people. I was sure it would be so packed that I wouldn’t even get a chance to talk with her.

Walking in the conference room, I was super excited to see a few rows of people attending. Much more intimate this way.

As I looked around, I was a bit confused as to why there was tissue boxes spread throughout the room. 

I had no idea what I was in for.

When Katherine discussed Postpartum OCD & the scary thoughts that can accompany this, I  lost it. She knew what it was like to have scary & unimaginable thoughts. She knew the terror that overcomes a mom experiencing these thoughts. She understood that many moms (including myself) would avoid things (such as the kitchen knives) like the plague because of how terrifying they can be to someone going through Postpartum OCD.

I tried to hold back the tears for as long as I could but once they began pouring out there was nothing I could do to stop them. I had no idea hearing her speak about this would bring up such deep emotions.  

I totally get the tissue thing now.

For the first time I found someone who knew exactly what it was like to fight through the scary thoughts. I found someone who understood just how terrorizing the thoughts are. She understood what I had been through in ways that my best friend couldn’t even begin to understand.

Meeting someone who changed my life & saved me & my family in so many ways is a powerful thing.


7 comments:

Kimberly said...

I would die to meet her in real life.
I never had the OCD part of the illness and I can't imagine how horrifying it must have been. But it's good to know that there is a community out there to help and support us.

Janet (ocdtalk) said...

There is nothing as powerful as connecting with people who've had similar experiences. I think that's why support groups can be so helpful. As much as I try, I never will truly understand what my son experienced with his severe OCD...I am glad you had such a strong connection with Katherine. What a blessing to realize you are truly not alone.

Andrea said...

I agree. The support that is out there is wonderful :)

AnnMarie said...

How great that you got to meet her! I think that is why I love blogging so much. So many moms in the trenches. So many writers trying to live out the dream. So many wives needing to vent. :) People connecting in ways that no one else gets. Glad that you were "understood."

Andrea said...

I love blogging for so many reasons too & it's amazing how supportive & wonderful people can be!!

Lebogang Xolo said...

I didn't know that Kat was this tall, wow....And you are so lucky to have met her.

Andrea said...

haha I didn't realize that either :)