Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Every little thing gonna be all right

Something I look forward to every year is going to Kenny Chesney’s summer concert. Country music blaring on the speakers in a football stadium filled with 60,000 fans, an excuse to wear my pink cowgirl hat, sipping on an iced cold Corona, the smell of barbecue from the grills while tailgating in the parking lot with friends & the sun shining down warming my bare shoulders.

Nothing beats it.

I had tickets to go the summer I was three months pregnant but I was conflicted as to whether or not I should.

I became obsessed with googling, Can pregnant women go to concerts? I asked friends & family what they thought. They told me that it was fine. My doctor even told me to go & have a good time.

I wasn’t convinced.

I had the idea stuck in my head that by going to one concert it would affect my unborn baby’s hearing or health.

She will become deaf if I go.  

Something awful will happen.

I will lose my baby.

I panicked.

Instead of risking anything happening to my baby, I pulled out all of my Kenny CD’s from home, parked my pregnant self on our porch swing outside & enjoyed the music there. My baby was safe.

The next summer Kenny came around again. Two close friends & I jumped on the chance to buy floor tickets a few rows from the stage. I just gave birth 4 months earlier & my life had become an endless circle of scary thoughts, anxiety & panic attacks & fighting hard to get through each day.

 I was emotionally exhausted & thought I deserved to have a fun night out with the girls to try to keep my mind off of the scary thoughts that were secretly ruining my life.

 At the end of the concert we started to fight our way through the crowd as swarms of people began to leave all at once. Kenny came back out & started singing Three little birds. 

I spun around to watch & I listened to the words.

Rise up this mornin',
Smiled with the risin' sun,
Three little birds
Pitch by my doorstep
Singin' sweet songs
Of melodies pure and true,
Sayin', ("This is my message to you-ou-ou:") 

It was a message to me! (Let me believe what I want.)

I took in a deep breath & kept listening.

"Don't worry about a thing,
'Cause every little thing gonna be all right.
Singin': "Don't worry about a thing,
'Cause every little thing gonna be all right!" 

These words were what I needed to hear. I needed to hear someone, anyone tell me that everything really was gonna be all right. Because at the time, I wasn’t so sure it would be.

Since that hot sunny day in July, I bought the Bob Marley CD & have played Three Little Birds over & over.

This song gave me hope that everything would turn out OK. I had to believe I could get through this nightmare.

Whenever I need a reminder, I get in my SUV, roll the windows down & sing along to this song.  

Three Little Birds- Bob Marley 


Kimberly said...

Music has the power to heal eh?
Love listening to music in the car. Sometimes when I'm by myself I just drive. I have no destination, but I'm able to lose myself into healing lyrics.

Jenny said...

This is a great song. It's on my pick me up playlist that I created for myself to listen to when I am feeling down. Music is so powerful.

Andrea said...

Kim- I do the same thing! I love driving with nowhere to go & losing myself in the music. It definitely can help heal. If I really need to listen to something uplifting & my daughter is in the car, I tell her she has to share, sometimes Laurie Berkner just doesn't do it for me :)

Andrea said...

I have actually been thinking of making a CD with a bunch of songs like that, just to listen to when I really need it. It's a great idea :) Music can be so healing :)